The Cluttered Pantry

While were in Chita, Katia and Eugene spent a good amount of time answering our many questions about the follow trip that includes our court date and will result in our getting to bring the Wee Kahunas home. They also reviewed all of the paperwork we have submitted to make certain we are in compliance with all of the requirements (see the post about apostilles).

So, it turns out that the Russian Ministry of Education has an ongoing issue with potential parents proving their identities. Specifically, they don’t like using Marriage certificates as proof that I legally changed my last name to Henderson. Never mind the passport, social security card, and drivers license that all show Henderson as my name as well. What they want is some form of proof that shows the trail- maiden name to married name.

This would be hard enough to produce, based on the fact that most forms of identification are replaced- not added to, but then those of you who have known me for a while are already chuckling about the assumption that maiden name to Henderson is the path here.

Maiden name to married name to divorced name to re-married name to re-divorced name to Henderson is enough to make any paper pusher quesy.

So far the quest for the perfect document has been in vain.

1. Contacted Social Security Administration for “Verification of social security letter”. Told to go to local branch office and request in person.

2. Try to go to branch in downtown Chicago, pay $20 for parking only to learn office is closed for …wait for it…painting. Go home, do not pass go.

3. Schlep the 13 city blocks into the southside of Chicago (man, I need better walking shoes) wait for close to an hour for DMV style number to be called. Explain request to very friendly woman behind glass who smiles and says “oh, no, we don’t do those here. You have to contact Baltimore.”. After showing photos of girls and insisting there must be something she can do I get a print out that shows current name and social security number. (gee, I think I have something that does just that-you know, my actual social security card!) Go home…do not pass go.

4. Contact the main office using the only number listed on federal web site. Work through no less than 8 people and a dozen automated phone options. Final statement from woman on phone? “You have to go to your local branch, we are just a call center, we can’t help you.”

5. Found an “email us for support” option on web site. Sent in plea for assistance written carefully so as not to include the words “or I’ll go postal” by mistake. 24 hours later get an automated response email “your inquiry does not match any of the preset answers available to you, please contact us at the 800 number listed below. “. Stay home….do not pass go.

6. Resort to random google searches for ideas and find web services that run background checks including used aliases for employers to use before they hire people. Fill out long form, provide way to much personal information, pay large fee via credit card, report is run. Shows list of “known names” all are there! Nice orderly list starting with maiden name working down to Hendeson. Only problem? Next to each name are the words “associated social security number can not be confirmed without contacting the social security administration.”. Gaaaaaaa…do not pass go.

Today I plan a multi pronged approach-DMV for print out of all drivers license, vegas court house for revised marriage certificate, letter to senators office asking for help. Oh and eating some chocolate. Something will work, it has to. My fall back plan? To legally change my name to my name. It is just kooky enough to work.

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